I just read this article in the AP about how the French are allegedly fed up with their own rudeness.
As I was reading it, my initial reaction was that this article was just another way of perpetuating what I often feels is the "myth" of French rudeness. I say "myth" because in my nearly six years in France, I can count the number of times someone has been rude to me on fewer than my 10 fingers. And at least half of those incidents were more like French civil servants being cold and uncommunicative rather than out-and-out rude to me (you know, like the time a bitchy fonctionnaire made me cry). And honestly, I don't know that I've ever felt that people in France were being rude to me simply because I am foreign, and that's another reason I feel this "the French are so rude!" thing is frequently just blown way out of proportion.
Are some waiters in France rude? Probably. But most of the ones I've met have been polite and professional, even if not warm and friendly. And really, is it a server's job to act like my best friend? Not really. I think Americans in particular expect waiters at restaurants to be all perky and smiling like a college cheerleader, with a saccharin "Hi, I'm your waitress Crissi -- how are you today? May I take your order?" because that's how you'd be treated at the Olive Garden*. In France, that sort of greeting to a total stranger is considered to be false and insincere, and people (in Paris especially) do tend to keep their emotions more reserved. A French waiter, therefore, feels that he is doing his job well if he asks you want you want, keeps an eye on whether you need your water carafe refilled, brings your meal with efficiency, and wishes you a "bon appetit" (which, by the way, is a VERY polite thing to say in France). Anything more is unnecessary, especially as French waiters don't make their living on tips! They get paid a decent living wage and benefits, so they don't have to suck up to the customers to supplement a minimum-wage job.
When you walk into a French restaurant or boutique, you will nearly always be greeted with a Bonjour and when you leave they will say Au Revoir -- and it's not part of a sales effort or a security check like in most American stores where they have "greeters" at the entrance to a store -- and it is considered rude for you, the customer, to NOT say those things when entering or leaving. A lot of foreigners to France don't know this, and I think the French believe tourists to be rude for not knowing about these basic politenesses.
Does this mean that the French are becoming less polite, even to one another? I suppose it's possible. If there are studies being done and the city has gone so far as to mount a campaign to get people to be more civil and considerate to each other (especially on public transportation where we ALL have to share the space), then there must be something to it. Perhaps people are not teaching their children basic polite behavior the way they used to (although from what I've seen, French parents are pretty good about that, even moreso than some American parents perhaps). Perhaps the French are getting caught up in a world where everything seems to move too quickly, and they're so caught up in the frenzy that they're just not thinking about how they treat people around them. But is that sort of thing limited to the French? I doubt it.
However, to be fair and look at both sides...
France is not known for providing top-notch customer service, for one thing, and THERE is one major area where I do think the French could certainly do with some lessons in how to treat other people with more courtesy. When I first came to France, I bought a pair of boots in a store, and when I got them home (in the box, not worn outside) and tried them on again, they really hurt my feet. So the next day, I took them back to the store and asked to return them, explaining that I had not worn them at all. Well! You would have thought I had just called the sales clerk a dirty name. She nearly screamed at me (while angrily giving me back my money) and basically told me never to bother coming back to her store. I obliged by telling her that her nasty attitude would certainly ensure THAT. Although this was the worst I've ever been treated in a shop, I will say that some (but not all) stores don't like customers to return things, and they do try and make it difficult. That doesn't mean they won't do it, though. But most times if you return something to the store (especially if it is obviously defective or it's still in resaleable condition), it's usually not that big a hassle. But hell, I've shopped at Target and tried to return things, only to find out that they have a pretty snarky return policy for a budget store.
I guess what I really want to say is that I think the author of that article went out of his way to find examples of the stereotype. I mean, my God, the Flore? In the snootiest part of Paris? Of course the waiters are complete asshats! But come over to my neighborhood to a local restaurant where the servers are ALWAYS smiling (sincerely), ALWAYS treat us well, and the owner comes around to shake our hands like we're old friends. He doesn't even know our names (although he knows we live in the quartier now) but he greeted us that way the very first time we ever set foot in his establishment. And there are MANY restaurants like that around Paris, that serve very good meals at reasonable prices and have excellent service -- and where you never get treated rudely, even as a foreigner.
So... could you be treated rudely in France? Certainly, and perhaps Paris is the part of France where you would find the highest percentage of rude people, as it is the largest and busiest city. But it is just as likely you could be treated rudely in London, New York, Chicago or Rome. I just don't get this "thing" everyone has about the French being rude, because that has just not been my general experience.
I guess you can't believe everything you hear.
*I may mock the Olive Garden... but I do love their breadsticks.
