I'm not in a very good place today. I got some news yesterday that my mother is fighting some as yet unidentified illness or infection, and she's been in the ICU at the hospital in her town since Monday evening. She is being transferred to a bigger and better hospital as I write this, and while that's a good thing in terms of her overall care (the second hospital has a much better reputation and better resources), it's worrisome that after nearly 48 hours her condition has not improved significantly enough that it's even necessary to move her elsewhere. However, we're grateful that she's had very good care where she is locally and that she has a primary physician who is on the ball.
While I don't want to go into a lot of personal detail, because this blog is not designed to tell other people's business, I will just say that I'm worried for my mother. Really, really worried. Part of the price you pay when you decide to move far away from those you love, is that maybe something will happen to one of your loved ones, and you'll want to be "home" but you can't be there. If I need to get on a plane, I will, but we're waiting to see what's going on before I do that (and we're also supposed to be leaving on the 18th for a week in Club Med, and not sure what will happen with that, now, either, at least as far as I'm concerned), and right now there's nothing more I could do that my sister isn't already doing, other than help out making phone calls or fielding questions from other family members on email. So... I'm on hold.
But I'm not THERE, being on hold WITH my sister while we allow the experts to try and understand, and then treat, whatever is ailing our mom. And that just makes it harder. I know some of you have been through this and you understand. I'm just saying... this really sucks. No other way to say it. Which is why I am not in a very good place at this moment. Writing helps and having a loving husband holding me helps, but this is just a bad time. Coming on the heels of my own recent illness, and FINALLY feeling better and feeling like things were back to normal, looking forward to a real vacation, etc. -- well, I think the Universe has a strange sense of timing right now, and I really wish it would just let us catch our breath for more than a weekend.
Because I do believe that we are all connected, we are all a part of the same universal energy and life force, and group energy can do miraculous things, I will ask a favor. Please send your thoughts and prayers, your visualizations of white light and good energy, to my mother Carole in New Jersey over the coming days, and to my sister Sue who is coping with an awful lot right now, between being the point-person for my mother and having a family of her own who needs her right now (with my nephew now off to his military training and my niece about to leave for her first year of college). My mother needs the healing, and my sister needs the strength to juggle more than she should have to.
Thanks for keeping my family in your thoughts, Internet. Merci mille fois.
