My best friend sent me this email today and I haven't laughed so hard since I don't know when. Since this blog is often about discovering and adapting to cultural differences ("It's not WRONG, it's just DIFFERENT"), I figured I should share it with all of you, too. Don't know the origins, sorry.
Have a good laugh, enjoy and happy Tuesday!
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SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives
you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both
and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State
takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the
milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN
CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two
cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters
of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of
the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
Cayman Island Company
secretly owned by the majority shareholder who
sells the rights to all seven
cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns
eight cows, with an option on
one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new
president of the United States, leaving
you with nine cows.
No balance
sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
A
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a
riot, and block the roads, because you want
three cows.
A JAPANESE
CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market
it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you
have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You
count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open
another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows.
None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people
milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business
seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on
the left looks very attractive.
