I haven't posted in a while about some of the truly bizarre ways people are finding my blog through Google or other search engines. So, since it's a subject that's long overdue, here are some insights into some of your fellow readers:
I continue to be disturbed by people who are looking for information on "breast guillotine" and who find my site listed about TENTH, apparently because of a post I once wrote on the actual guillotine invented and used in France as the death penalty tool of choice. But I wrote my post in the context of the annual April 15th tax filing deadline in America!
Why would someone want to look for images of "dipping shoes"? What do they want them dipped in -- chocolate?
The largest number of searchers seem to be "over 40 and single", and typing in some combination of keywords to that effect. Nice to know there are more of us out there and apparently we're finding comfort and safety in numbers.
Of course when people are searching for information on Paris, they're likely to get my blog posts in their results for "macarons", "batignolles", "inner french girl", "parisian arcades" and "make your dream of living in paris a reality" (you GO girl!)
I think the person who was looking for "images of thunder rumbling" was probably disappointed in his search. Because last I checked, still photos couldn't capture SOUND and you can't SEE thunder.
At first, I was heartened by "dating: what to make a woman on a third date", thinking to myself "how nice, he wants to cook for her". Then I thought maybe he wasn't being so chivalrous after all because the third date is the de facto minimum waiting time for sex and if you already have the woman in your apartment after having cooked her a meal... then I thought, maybe he's not talking about making FOOD at all... yeah, buddy, we get the idea.
Other curiosities:
- ready made sculpture shovel (is there a market for ready made scupltures of a shovel?)
- famous people in Montana (I don't even know anyone in Montana, famous or otherwise)
- if I could change my past (here's a hint, dear: you CAN)
- naked mature wives (ew)
- 1001 ways to fall pregnant (first of all, I didn't know you could "fall" pregnant and second of all, I thought there was pretty much just the ONE way to do it)
- iyanla vanzant kraft macaroni and cheese (I'm a big fan of both but don't recall blogging about both of them together!)
In particular, this one touched me: "I'm getting bold at 17 what can I do to stop it?" Oh, the angst of being a teenager. I figured this one had to be a girl, and that by "getting bold" she probably meant she is worried about her body's natural changes and reactions to certain, um, stimulus. I'm guessing her daddy's a strict fundamentalist minister or something and she's been taught that sex is evil and wrong. I wish I could hug her and tell her not to worry about it, that she's normal and not a freak, and that she just needs to relax and not judge herself, but that she can still choose how and when and with whom when she's emotionally ready for such things. And furthermore she won't burn in hell for having those feelings, or even for ACTING on them.
Because if that were the case there'd be no one left in heaven.
