Introducing a new feature here at The Bold Soul: Shakespeare's Insults!
When I was in London recently, I visited Shakespeare's Globe Theatre, which was really interesting and which I highly recommend, and then visited the Theatre's gift shop which I also highly recommend. Can't get to London? Shop online! Normally, I think most tourist gift shops are complete crap but this one was really excellent and included a great book and CD/DVD section as well as some really creative souvenirs that were far less tacky then one might expect. My other favorites were the Plague Rat Hand Puppets and the bottle of fake blood (caution: it stains).
I came home with all kinds of cool stuff, including a long sleeved black T-shirt with a modern drawing of a skull and "Alas Poor Yorick" printed on it. (I begrudgingly left behind the beautiful velvet handbags.) My friend got several age-appropriate books and other goodies for her kids. But my favorite two take-home items were a set of refridgerator magnets and a daily calendar, both chock full of prime insults from Shakespeare's works. As a writer, I love Shakespeare for many reasons but particularly because he has a way with a good jibe.
They're so good, I just felt I had to share the love bile. So periodically I'll toss out a nice juicy one here on the blog. Feel free to use them with someone in your life who is getting on your nerves: your spouse or partner who refused to take out the trash, your annoying neighbor who borrows your gardening tools and never returns them, your smarmy teenagers who act so superior, the boss who keeps looking over your shoulder, or anyone you just feel like insulting for your own crass amusement. Chances are, you'll stop them cold in their tracks while their brains try desperately to process words like "cudgel", "knave", and "fishmonger".
And to kick things off right, let's start with my favorite, fresh off the fridge:
"I was searching for a fool when I found you."
~ William Shakespeare, As You Like It
Don't take it personally.
*Title insult from Shakespeare's Henry V
