The other day, my sister asked me if the French celebrate Valentine's day. I had to think about it for a moment, because unlike in the U.S., holidays in other countries are not dominated by Hallmark and as such are celebrated in a more moderate way.
I have seen some Valentine's decorations in a few store windows, but it's far more subtle than what one typically sees in the States. I have seen heart-shaped jewelry in jewelry stores, designed (presumably) to give French men a clue as to what to buy for their cheries (men are pretty clueless about gift-giving in any language). Florists are always out in abundance on every day of the week here in Paris so I can't say I've noticed anything particularly excessive in terms of them pushing their wares for Valentine's day. And I did see one sign on a church referencing "St. Valentin" which of course reminded me that this day was (more or less) originally a Saint's day, dating back to the 1400s, when a man named Valentine passed a love note to his jailer's daughter that read "From your Valentine" -- this on the night before he was about to be martyred as a Christian.
Back in the U.S., we're indoctrinated into the Hallmark holiday in elementary school, where children are encouraged to bring in little valentine cards (usually with images of Scooby Doo or whatever cartoon characters are popular this year) for all their classmates. I remember being in the 2nd grade and making a "mailbox" for my cards from a shoebox, covered in colored paper and crayon drawings, with a slit in the top; then when it was time to give out the cards we were supposed to walk around to everyone else's shoebox and deposit their card that we'd written and signed ourselves (at age 7).
Then, as you get older and starting becoming aware of romance, you become culturally preconditioned to expect want pray for hope you will be deemed worthy of someone, ANYONE, giving you flowers or jewelry or candy or even a card. Even as an adult, when you work in an office where other women are getting big bouquets of roses delivered (at over $100 a dozen) and YOUR desk is sans fleurs, it makes you feel a bit wistful and lonely -- and envious. Even when you know it's a completely trumped-up holiday designed to sell cards, flowers, chocolates in big velvet heart-shaped boxes, and diamonds galore.
For whatever reason, I haven't had many Valentine's days in my life when I've actually been in a relationship and had cause to expect some romantic gesture from The Man in my life. I don't say that to elicit pity but to point out why I barely even notice the holiday anymore. For me, February 14th is pretty much just the day before my sister's birthday, which is far more important to me.
Being in a country where Valentine's day isn't so much the product of marketers and advertisers is rather comforting. I won't be confronted with countless signs and ads with hearts and cupids, and store shelves full of red and pink cards and tacky gift items.
Still... while I don't care about the Valentine doo-dads... it sure would be nice to have The Man again. Just to have someone to say "Happy Valentine's Day, sweetie" with a warm hug and a lingering kiss. THAT's my idea of a great Valentine's day.
