It's sinking in now. Just 11 days until I board my flight to Paris. Wow, this past month went fast.
I had lunch with my best friend the other day and as we left the restaurant, she started to go all weepy on me, saying: "I can't believe you're really leaving!" I had no choice but to waggle my finger at her and say: "Don't you DARE make me cry in the mall. At least wait until we get to the parking lot." When we got there, I surprised myself by not really crying at all, which is unusual because I'm typically the water-works girl in these situations (as you'll see in a few paragraphs). But I'll get another opportunity to bawl my eyes out with her, because I'm actually having the airport limo service pick me up at my friend's house since it's closest to the airport and less of a hassle for everyone. I'll have to say goodbye her, her husband, her four kids AND my own mother that day. But I have ten more days NOT to think about that.
Yesterday I got to see another friend, and fortunately we had no tears there, just a lot of laughs while we reminisced over old times (we used to work at the same company with the same crazy people). I've had a string of these lunches or dinners with all my local friends over the past few weeks, and pretty much was able to get around to almost everyone except one good friend who's been traveling a lot herself, but I'll be sure to see her at Christmas time.
Today, getting more concerned about just how much luggage I can handle all by myself getting through two airports, I decided to start pruning back the number of books I'm bringing and even packed my new, giant rolling duffel bag (I gotta say, that was worth every penny; I LOVE this thing). I managed to fit the essential books (including my big Larousse French-English dictionary, all my maps and tourist books of Paris and France, 70% of the shoes I want to take over on this trip, all of the toiletries, health & beauty products, the voltage converter/adapters, and an assortment of other items. I then weighed the bag and it clocked in at 63.5 pounds. The "free" limit is 50 lbs. and you can't have more than 70, so I'm OK there, and they charge $25 per overweight bag. Not bad. I'll be able to use my other large suitcase for all the clothes, 2 or 3 additional pairs of shoes and a few handbags, and my pillows (all clothing and pillows will be scrunched down to a fraction of their normal bulk through miracle of Space Bag technology) and I'll be looking to max out the weight limit on that suitcase too.
So, two check-able overweight bags, both with wheels and a handle built in. Since I only have 2 hands, how do I handle my carryon stuff? I'll have a back-pack purse (a SAFE one this time), but also a laptop case and I'm entitled to one additional carry-on bag. My inclination is to bring my weekender on wheels, and I bought a folding luggage cart that is sturdy enough to haul 250 lbs of stuff. I'm thinking I could put my big suitcase and carry-on case on THAT and strap them down tight. I could then fit a BOX of stuff (I can also check extra luggage for $90 a piece and that's cheaper than shipping via UPS) on top of that, AND my laptop. Heavy, yes, but I could pull that with one hand and the big rolling duffel with the other.
Or am I totally insane thinking I could lug that much stuff through an airport? I'd have to take elevators rather than escalators, and I'm taking a cab into the city -- too much stuff for the Metro. Basically I'm trying to maximize each trip over, bringing as much as I can handle; in fact I'm already mentally planning what to bring back with me in January after my holiday visit home. I'll still end up shipping at least one box next week, possibly two or even three, and then more in January; but that's why I'd really like to cart as much stuff on my own as I can. What I'm going to do this week is a dry run literally pack everything in those other two suitcases and test out stacking them, plus a box and laptop, then see how I do getting all of that plus the duffel bag around the house, out the door, and rolling it on the sidewalk outside to see just how heavy it's all going to be. Wish me luck.
Tonight, I had my first really emotional moment. I was over at my sister's chatting with her while she refinished a small cabinet, when my niece came home from wherever she was. She's 14 and just this amazing person, and stunningly beautiful. If she's this beautiful now I can only image what she'll be like in a few more years. I adore her older brother just as much, but he's off at college now and living his own life (fortunately he's coming home next weekend and we're doing a family dinner together before I go). But as I was talking to my niece, it really sunk in, when she told me "we'll have to email and call a lot" because she'll have a lot going on that she wants to tell me, that I'm going to miss a LOT...
[short pause while The Bold Soul breaks down and cries and gets some Kleenex so she can finish this post]
...of her growing-into-adulthood part of life because I'm going to be so far away. With her big brother, I didn't miss a single thing, and so far with her, I haven't missed anything either. I've been to every single play she's been in, gone to her sports events and watched her cheer the one year she experimented with being a cheerleader (she'd had enough of that by the end of the season). I feel as strongly about these kids as if they were my own. And when it hit me how much I would be missing with my niece, I lost it. The poor kid had to hug me and pat me on the back (she's like her mother, not that emotional although she can sure turn it on when she's acting on stage).
I had a similar reaction last year when her brother went off to college and it sunk in how things were really never going to be quite the same again; he was going off to start his adult life, and that is as it should be, and I was proud of him and happy for him. But it also meant he was going to have less time for us, the adults in his life, and we were moving into the beginning stages of "how come the kids never call?"
I did feel a bit bad after this crying jag, because while I was crying I said to my niece, "You're the one I'm going to miss" and in retrospect I'm hoping my sister didn't take that to mean I wasn't going to miss anyone else in the family. What I meant was, how much of her life I am going to be missing but it just came out wrong. But hopefully she understood, because I also recall babbling something about, "And your brother's all grown up and never calls!"
I think this is going to be a long eleven days in some ways. I'm so mentally ready to GO that I just want to speed up time so that I'll BE there, already.
Saying goodbye is going to be hard... even though I'm consoling myself and everyone else with "but I'll be back in six weeks for Christmas". But saying bonjour to Paris again... finally being there at last, creating this new life for myself... THAT'S what I want to focus on most.
Because this is, seriously, the BEST thing I have ever done for myself.
