The Bold Soul: A Writer's Life in Paris

Nothing to see here. Move along.

Didja ever have one of those days when you've got nothing of interest to say? To anyone? About anything? When no matter how busy you actually are, the things you are busy at are so indescribably mundane that you wouldn't want to inflict them on anyone else? (Like, did you really need to know that I had to buy incontinence pads for my grandmother at Walmart and was secretly praying I would not run into anyone I knew in case they thought I was buying them for myself?) Welcome to my Wednesday (and my Tuesday, come to think of it). What with the dreary weather (which isn't even from Ernesto, who will be here to drown out our Labor Day weekend) and the random series of phone calls and client project tasks, I've got my head down and am just plowing through. About the only mildly interesting thing that occurred so far today was getting a call from an American ex-pat in KUWAIT who was looking for a fiction ghostwriter (and I don't write fiction). There's not even much in the news today that I want to rant about or mock (although I was tempted by a story about a... Read more →

Visualizing

One of the most important things we can do when we are trying to realize a dream or attain a goal is to visualize being successful, to really SEE ourselves being IN the situation and how it will feel when we've already achieved what we're after. Dr. Wayne Dyer (among others) says that the ability to manifest our desires comes from realizing that it's already happened, that we've already won -- we just need to SEE it clearly for it to become our reality. This is easier said than done, however. We're often so preconditioned to skepticism, to hoping for the best but expecting the worst, that we take a "wait and see" attitude toward our goals -- so that, if they DON'T happen, we won't be so disappointed. We're often afraid to see ourselves succeeding at our goals, because we're afraid to want something so badly and then not be able to have it. Granted, we don't always get what we want in life. Sometimes, the things we want do NOT work out for us. (Which usually means it wasn't in our best interest in the first place.) But that skeptical attitude won't get us anywhere. Everyone who has... Read more →

Confessions of a book junkie

Since it was a rainy, dreary day today (I'm not really complaining, we've needed the rain and right now it's POURING, one of those drenching rains that just keeps getting worse when you think it's as bad as it can get -- like, it's almost pitch black at 7pm, it's raining so hard), I finally took care of a long overdue project: thinning the "herd" of books that has taken over my living and working space. I already have two or three huge boxes of books in storage (this, after having purged at least 50 of them last year in a garage sale), and a 7' tall bookcase at home that was overflowing with books. And then there were the stacks: the piles of "books to read" that I never seem to get around to actually opening and reading. It was out of control and time to do something about it. Some people have shopping addictions to shoes, or collectibles, or sports memorabilia. Books are my drug of choice: I have to have them whether I need them or not. And I'm very attached to most of the ones I already have. Which sort of presents a space problem. I... Read more →

Remembering Katrina

One year ago today, Hurricane Katrina began its deadly journey to ravage the Gulf Coast, starting with Florida, where it came ashore as a Category 1 storm. Within days, it had raged up to a Cat 5, then weakened slightly to a Cat 4 as it slammed into Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama. But we all know what the damage was, and how many people are still suffering as a result. And not long afterward Katrina was followed by Rita which did damage over in Texas. It seemed like it would never end. But it did, and what was left was unimaginable destruction, trauma and death. Many people are still trying to get back on their feet, and now that many of the government agencies are "done" helping, there is despair and hopelessness for many. They still need help. If you've got some change to spare, you might consider donating some of it to organizations like Oprah's Angel Network's Katrina Homes program as a way of letting some of these hurricane victims know we haven't forgotten them. There's a nifty gift registry where for as little as $10 you can select items that will go into the homes and community centers... Read more →

The Monster Within

Lying awake in my bed, I am four years old. I look over the edge of the bed, and suddenly, an alligator is poking his long nose out from underneath. Next thing I know, he is sitting on the bed next to me, grinning his sharp, toothy alligator grin! I scream and hop out of the bed onto the floor to get away... but then the alligator is next to me on the floor, too. Back I scramble into bed as fast as I can to escape, but the alligator follows. No matter where I go, from bed to floor and back again, he is there, too. And all I can do is scream for my mother and father to come and get me. Which they did. I can still recall the feeling of that experience...a waking dream, a nightmare, call it what you like, for a 4-year-old child it was an exercise in terror. Nowadays there are other monsters in the world to terrorize us. There are other, bigger, much scarier things we can be afraid of. And no mommy or daddy to come and pick us up and hold us and make it all go away, like magic.... Read more →

Early AM Eiffel

Just about 2am here in New Jersey, and I'm still awake but fading fast. Thought I'd take a peek at Paris in the morning hours, something I rarely get to do, and I thought this live shot of Gustave Eiffel's creation in silhouette against the dawn sky was really lovely. Not bad, either, for a web cam. Read more →

"Right" on

Did you ever get upset with someone for what you perceive as their lack of competence or attention to detail because you just KNOW you're right? You know the types of situations I'm talking about, often involving mistakes made by vendors you do business with, and having to call their smarmy customer torture service personnel who are reading from a script so they're saying all the polite, correct things; but where you know they are secretly filing their nails, thumbing through the latest Vogue and smirking behind their headsets at your mounting frustration with whatever situation you're busy being right about. It's enough to make you nuts because you know you will be stuck on the phone with this person for at least 20 minutes, this after having waited 30 minutes navigating the company's voice mail system before being put on hold to speak to a real, live human being. A human being who, c'mon let's face it, doesn't give a crap about your problem, they're just doing that job until something better comes along. So as "nice" and "friendly" as they seem to be, I'm not usually buying it. I've been on a weight-loss program (for now I'll decline... Read more →

Creature of habit?

Home again, home again, jiggety-jig... the family is back from their week in Palm Springs where it was like 200 degrees outside every day. And their return means I'm back home, with no more dog duty, no more watering everyone's plants and shrubs because of the lack of rainfall, and no more picking up after lazy teenagers. Free at last! I need a vacation from everyone else's vacation, for sure. (They did bring me some nice souvenirs, though.) But I noticed something disconcerting about myself today. Much as it was good to have a little change of scenery and my sister's house is both comfortable and has all the little luxuries, it was very nice to come home and I was looking forward to getting back into my usual "routine". And that last word is what is so unnerving -- because I am the anti-routine QUEEN. Or at least, that's what I've always thought. I have always detested routine. I've never taken comfort in doing the same thing over and over again, in structure, in rules. Some people thrive on that sort of thing, but I've always been the opposite -- the rule-bender, the one rebelling against the status quo,... Read more →

Are Hitler wannabees running the Internet?

I was just checking the daily installment over at Dooce, which was a selection of the hate mail that author Heather Armstrong receives on a regular basis from her blog readers. Heather is not the only blogger I read who has been scolded by disgruntled readers with no lives of their own, and I suspect she won't be the last, either. Some people just have to complain about what they see -- even when, as in this case, no one is forcing them to go to those blogs and read them. But what's interesting about Heather's hate mail, on a sociological level, is the subject matter. Her hate readers write in to criticize not only her parenting style (everyone wants to criticize the mom bloggers) but everything else about her blog and her life, from the fact that she once wrote about eating chocolate to combat stress and that she had to have the sewer pipes replaced (unrelated to eating the chocolate -- God, I hope so, anyway) to her recent disclosure that she has a form of skin cancer and she had the nerve to mention it in the same post with her ongoing battle with her husband over... Read more →

All work and no play

I'm sitting here realizing that my tenure as a housesitter and dog caretaker and preventer of college-student drinking binges is coming to a close as of tomorrow afternoon. And I'm noticing how, in so many ways, the Universe's timing is always perfect, because this week I really had little or no client work to do -- clients have been out of town or otherwise occupied with other things this week, so I wasn't able to be "productive". And the few client requests I did have were quick, easy things to take care of without expending much mental energy. Which is just as well because as much as I have enjoyed the change of scenery of being at my sister's lovely new house, with all the amenities it offers, those amenities also provide distractions (both welcome and unwelcome) that made it difficult for me to really concentrate on much of anything. That's OK because I think I really needed to NOT have a lot on my plate this week. At the same time, I'm also realizing I haven't had anything approximating a vacation in more years than I care to think about. In fact, I think it's been at least 5... Read more →