When I awoke this morning, I was actually able to recall snippets of a dream. Many times I can't recall dreaming at all, or if I was dreaming, I can't recall the details, and this is true of most people. We know all people dream in their sleep but much of the time we have no idea what those dreams are.
Sometimes my dreams are nonsensical and probably the product of my rich imagination, and sometimes I can see there is some meaning attached: anxiety, worry, longing, fear.
I remember having one particular dream when I was about 4 years old, that is now referred to in my family as the "Alligator Dream". I semi-woke up in my bed and thought there was an alligator on the bed with me. So I jumped out of bed onto the floor and then I thought the alligator was on the floor. Back into the bed I went... the alligator followed me. No matter where I went, he followed. Of course I started screaming for my parents who came running, and the alligator went away. Even today I can recall snippets of that dream as well as the terrified feeling that I just could not get away from that damned alligator no matter what I did. I have no idea what that dream was about other than a 4-year old's active imagination running amok.
I've had two sort of recurring "theme" dreams throughout my life. I say recurring THEMES rather than recurring DREAMS because the dreams themselves are never the same but there is a common theme. The first theme is fire. I've always been afraid of fire -- not fire like in a campfire or barbecue but afraid of the house catching on fire. We've never actually had a house fire although we almost had an electrical fire once when I was around 11 or 12, so either I was a bit traumatized by that near miss or maybe I was in a fire in a past life or something. Fortunately I haven't had THIS one in years. It's not pleasant.
The other theme involves a friend of mine from high school, a male friend. Actually sometimes we were more than just friends, although we never went out on a date until after we both graduated from college. The dreams involving this guy usually happen when I am feeling blue, lonesome, and needing comfort. The dreams are not sexual in nature, but more just about his presence being comforting to me. I can pretty much pinpoint what this is about for me: once when we were still in high school I was having a typical teenage girl melodrama about my love life -- or lack thereof. I was having a bit of a quiet meltdown in the school band room (the place we all hung out and where I felt the most at home in that school) when my friend walked in and saw me. Displaying an unusual level of sensitivity for him (he wasn't known for his sensitivity but for his sense of humor) he took me aside and just put his arms around me and let me have my meltdown. Having had no father in my life after the age of about 12, no older brothers, and never before having had any boy take the time to just comfort me with no agenda... whether he knew it or not, he gave me exactly what I needed. And ever since then, he has proceeded to pop up over so often in my dreams, and when he does I wake up feeling better.
Some dreams are great, some are horrible, and some are in between. Sometimes you'll have a dream where you know instantly what the meaning is for you. And then there are the other kind... the kind you can't make heads or tails out of, no matter what. Like the one I had last night, or at least what I can remember of it.
I remember that I was going on a trip. I live in New Jersey but I was heading towards or actually ON the West Coast, although in the dream I was trying to get to Europe (I think). I was on a charter bus heading West when the bus suddenly took a right turn heading north and we were crossing the board into Canada. I remember being upset about this, like it was unexpected and I didn't know it was going to happen, although someone on the bus told me that our plane to Europe was leaving from Canada. The bus pulled into a special bus parking area at the border where we all had to get out and go and get our passports checked before we could continue on the journey. Oddly enough, the bus parking area had all the buses parked in those angled parking spaces, which is not unusual in itself except that these were also angled VERTICALLY on these mechanical ramps so it was like all the buses were parked on a steep incline. I think this is very odd as this sort of thing does not exist in real life. The dream me thought this was odd, too, for the same reason.
I was the last one off the bus and everyone else was already out of sight. I got off the bus and went into a building. It looked like an old stone or cinder block building with no windows in the entry hall. There was a guard sitting in a chair next to a door and I asked him where I was supposed to go to get my passport checked, and he pointed for me to go through that door. Which I did, only to end up in another windowless room with another guard sitting in a chair by another door. This happened 3 or 4 times, but each door looked different. (Kind of reminds me of the old Get Smart TV show only the doors in my dream weren't as fancy.)
Finally I came into a large room with a bunch of people sitting at desks along the perimeter. I sat down at a desk with a rather friendly woman, and handed her my passport. She was looking at it and examining it and talking about it with someone sitting next to her. I thought maybe there was something wrong and I explained, "Did you see the notation on it that this is a replacement for my old passport that was stolen in Paris?" and she smiled and said yes, then stamped my passport, gave it back to me and motioned me through the door at the far end of the room.
Through that door,there were other glass doors out to the parking area on one side and what looked like a cafeteria on the other, and I decided I was thirsty and went in to get some kind of beverage. It took me a few minutes to actually get that beverage because the beverage station was huge and stacked up with an assortment of containers that didn't actually work with drinks -- like popcorn containers you might see at a movie theatre. And all I wanted was a little drink of lemonade or something.
Finally I got outside again, and I thought my bus had left without me! I ran down to the end of the lot which is where "our" bus was parked and then I was back on the bus itself (so I guess it didn't actually leave). While we were waiting for the bus to go (I was talking with other people although I don't know who they were), I looked out the bus window and to my shock I saw my friend Juan running by -- with a rifle! Juan was a former co-worker and the sweetest guy ever, and I haven't seen or talked to him for about 10 years because he moved back to Guatemala where his father owns a large farm... so why he was in my dream I don't know.
And then in the dream I thought that Juan's mother was talking to me; she was on the bus -- and she was MERYL STREEP. And then I woke up.
I had a good night's sleep last night, and no spicy food the night before. What a strange dream... I don't usually dream about celebrities, although Meryl Streep is one of my favorites and I watched her in a movie over a week ago (I think it was "Prime"). I have no idea where Juannie came from - I never dream about him and frankly, rarely think of him at all since we've been out of touch for so long.
Which just goes to show that dreams don't always mean anything nor do they make sense. The strangest thing of all to me is the level of detail I was able to recall about this one, strange as it was.
I don't like to overanalyze my dreams (especially the really strange ones), though I can see that parts of this one probably reflect my anxieties about wanting to move to France and that it seems I'm sometimes "going in the opposite direction and getting nowhere fast". Why Canada as the indirect route for me to get to Europe? The only thing I can think of is I'm doing a lot of business lately with several Canadian clients, although none of my clients factored into this dream.
Feel free to write in with your intepretations of any parts of this dream if you're into that sort of thing. If nothing else I'd be entertained to see what other people come up with! Or share a recent strange dream of your own, if you like. It's always nice to know someone else's dreams are as whacked out as your own.
