Well, as I predicted, I got hooked on The Bachelor: Paris. (Damn it. I hate when reality TV sucks me in. I like to think I'm "above" all that, quite frankly. I guess I will have to console myself with knowing I will never watch any of the Survivor shows.)
Tonight was the big night. Travis had to pick between two girls, Sarah and Moana, both 26. Sarah is the typical girl-next-door, a wholesome kindergarten teacher with an equally wholesome family who, ironically, practically DID live next door to the hunky ER doctor in Nashville, only they never knew it. Just think, they had to go to Paris to meet, even though she later discovered she sometimes went jogging past his house in Nashville. On paper, it was easy to see this would probably be a good match -- if a bit predictable and bland.
The other girl, Moana... the dark horse, the underdog. The girl none of the other girls liked or could figure out. The one that maybe didn't have the picture perfect childhood or family. The one with the most fire and emotion. And of course, the one I was most rooting for.
Both girls seemed real and genuine enough, each in her own way. I can't really say I thought either of them was faking it for the cameras... I think the good doctor did a great job of weeding out the less sincere contestants. But I have to say... I really was disappointed, but not at all shocked, that he picked the squeaky-clean teacher. His family liked her better. She probably would fit in better with his life and with his family. So, it's done, and it is what it is. I'm sure they'll live a picture-perfect wholesome life together. He seems like a guy who knows what he wants, so hopefully he made the right choice.
It's just sad to see how hard the other girl took it. On some level I related to her. She's "different". Even her name was different. She's young but she seems to know who she is at her core. She doesn't worry about what other people think of her. She focuses on being true to herself, or at least that's how she came across to me. Whatever happened to her after they taped tonight's "final rose ceremony", I hope she found a way to make peace with what happened to her. Because I know, first hand, what happens when you close yourself off to love after risking your heart and being hurt.
What happens is you wake up one day and realize you're a lot older and "still single", because it felt easier to avoid getting hurt. But that's not really living. To really live, you have to be willing to risk the hurt in order to get the happy.
So, to the Moana's of the world -- all those women who were hurt by love and who maybe decided love isn't worth the pain -- be strong, be true to yourself, and be open to loving someone else when the time is right. Take the risk again... not because you need someone else to "complete" you, but because by taking that risk, you get to "complete" yourself.
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UPDATE March 8, 2006: The romance is over. I knew he picked the wrong girl.
