I didn't used to believe that Hell existed... but now I have decided that "Hell" is what happens to you when you are stupid enough to have a garage sale (or yard sale, or moving sale).
Since I moved back in with my mother last fall (the idea being to save money for moving to Paris), it was always my intention to hold a moving/garage sale to dispose of at least 50% of what I currently have in storage. After all, why continue to pay for a large storage unit if I can shrink it down to a smaller and less expensive one. And I had a fair number of things I can no longer use or no longer want, so they should go to someone who can make use of them. That time has finally arrived although I did the best I could to procrastinate about it (really, I did.) I am having a moving/yard sale this coming weekend.
Somebody just kill me. Kill me now. Make it quick and painless. Forgive me for my stupidity in wanting to do this idiotic thing.
Having to pull all my stuff out of storage (which I have been doing off and on for weeks); then having to re-store some of it in my mother's basement; and then now having to bring it all up from the basement and sort/price it all; and then today, going back to storage with a U-Haul and my nephew to haul out the big stuff (furniture) and remaining boxes of junk to be sold... I estimate I have probably already logged in about 50 hours of my time to prepare for something that will probably net me, after expenses, about $27.36.
My best friend told me she has decided never to have another yard sale - it was just too stressful. Now she and her husband just put stuff out at the curb and people come by and take it (OK, they live in a high-traffic road so this technique works great for them).
Having said all that, I actually would probably not be stressing out quite as much as I am, if it were not for a few things that are outside of my control. To add to the fun (note that my voice, if I were speaking, would be dripping with sarcasm), there three other factors adding insult to injury. One is the unbearable heat we have had again in New Jersey this week. It makes it impossible to spend more than 20 minutes at a time in the garage to work on organizing things (plus it's a very small garage and we can't put anything out on the lawn until the day before). Two, is that the U-Haul rental place double-booked my truck, having previously promised it to someone else before me, so my plan to keep all the furniture on the truck all weekend has now been squashed and if I do not sell the furniture on the first day of the sale, I have to unload it and pray that I sell it the second day, because I have to return the truck. It's not the end of the world, just a major annoyance.
The other factor is that my mother has a tendency to get herself VERY worked up about these things. She is naturally participating in this sale with me (hey, it's her house) and she is a compulsive worry-wart. She can't seem to just focus on her own stuff, she has to worry and nag about what I'm doing with MY stuff. Also being a bit of a control-freak, she will want to orchestrate where things are placed on the lawn, because she's The Mom and It's Her House and She Knows Best about everything on the planet. So if I set up something here, she will insist it would be better over there. And nothing I do will be right or good enough. This is a person who is very tough to please even on a normal day. And when she gets tired, as would of course happen when doing all this work, she gets even harder to deal with. (I know this too shall pass.)
So... today I will be picking up my things in storage. In the rain, most likely (did I mention it's supposed to rain the next few days?) And setting up a small cabana tent, also in the rain. Tomorrow, I will have to price and organize everything because I've gotten almost nothing accomplished before now. Friday we open for business, potentially in the rain (and I will probably still be putting price stickers on things) and I pray to sell as much as possible, taking any reasonable offer. Saturday - more of the same although the weather is supposed to improve. Sunday - clean up.
The moral of the story is threefold:
- Never have so much stuff that you NEED to have a yard sale. Americans have far too much crap - we don't need all this stuff! Live minimalistically. You'll thank yourself later.
- In the event you have ignored point #2, and you decide to have a yard sale, never have one with any person who gets completely stressed out and hard to live with, because a yard sale will bring out those qualities times 10.
- Better yet, do what my friend does and just GIVE the stuff away. You'll never get back what you think the stuff is worth if you sell it anyway. Leave it at the curb and trust that someone who can really use it will get it. Or donate it to a charity. Or Freecycle it (that is where I am going to list anything I don't sell.)
I have to go now. I need to conserve my energy. Never again.
