"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." -- John Lennon
This week I've felt like the proverbial tightrope walker... and balance has been critical. My plans for the week had included juggling web site projects for 3 clients, finishing a sales proposal, and starting to ghostwrite a book; putting in my usual 12 hours at my part-time pharmacy job; and gearing up for my nephew's graduation. Oh, and bitching about the incessant heat. Those were MY plans, and although it was a pretty packed week, I felt like I could handle it, having already made the decision not to commit to any MORE new projects until at least July.
Clearly, the Universe had OTHER things in mind.
My grandmother, who has been having heart problems for several years, has been progessively getting worse. While her mind is in great shape, her body is clearly slowing down. Over the past 2 weeks her situation keeps flip-flopping and it really seemed as if she might need to make very fast arrangements to transition into assisted living. Now that plan is on hold because her doctors are recommending a pace-maker to help regulate her heartrate and hopefully give her more energy and quality of life, so I am waiting on that to happen in the next day or two. The assisted living thing may still be in the near future but that remains to be seen. As her primary caregiver I need to be available to help with the medical decisions.
Add to this the huge workload -- something I am not complaining about, mind you (having more work than you can handle is actually something I've been waiting for since becoming self-employed in 1998!) -- and wanting to keep my clients very happy. I even had to turn DOWN a writing project because the person needed it almost immediately and I simply could not fit it in this week... that was a first!
As the work has piled up and the grandmother situation has been fluctuating, I became very aware that my stress level was rising rapidly. I realized I needed to do something fast to take the pressure off before EVERY project crashed and burned or before I spontaneously combusted! It's not easy to have to go back on some commitments or to tell people "I may not be able to do this on time - things have changed" - but that's exactly what needed to happen because I just couldn't do it all. When plans change - by choice or by divine intervention - the best thing to do is re-prioritize and focus only on the most important stuff, even if some things have to slide.
I evaluated my options and quickly realized there were 2 things I could do to clear the decks: (1) take the week off from my part-time job even though it was with no advance notice, and (2) explain the situation to my clients, let them know I would continue doing my best to meet their expectations but asking for their patience. I wasn't happy about having to do either - it's much more gratifying to let everyone think I am ACTUALLY Wonder Woman - but the truth was, I simply could NOT do it ALL this week.
So, I did what I needed to do. And it's working out fine so far. The main thing is, the clients are being wonderful and I am managing to keep things moving forward pretty well; and my stress level is more under control - no binging on chocolate or tearing my hair out.
When life changes your plans, whether you like it or not, sometimes the kindest and boldest thing you CAN do is surrender to it and do your best to tread water, moving forward the best way you can. And to stop trying to be so perfect all the time. When you're in over your head, just be honest about it and throw yourself a life preserver.
And the heat has finally broken. I can cross "bitching about it" off my To-Do List now.
