It's not that I had a lousy day or anything. Actually it was a pretty mellow day - a great coaching session with a delightful client; and a interesting offer to ghostwrite a book for a very energetic woman in Georgia (no, not the Runaway Bride!). I even had an impromptu picnic dinner with my niece before dropping her off at the dress rehearsal for her latest play (we swear she will be famous someday and she is already, at 12, talking about her "acting career") and where I learned she recently "dumped" her first "boyfriend" Nick with the "let's still be friends" speech (where do they pick this stuff up so young?). Nick to his credit, sounds like a class act, having taken this blow to his young ego pretty well by agreeing he wanted to remain friends.
I digress...
Sometimes, even on a GOOD day, a girl just needs a few hours of "retail therapy". What precipated today's spending binge (although I'm proud of myself for really keeping the spending under control) was the unhappy discovery that my ONLY pair of boot-cut jeans has a spot that has actually worn out. Although my niece claims that ripped jeans are "in", I informed her that at age 43-44, some things are going to be "out" for me even if they are "in" for her.
I logged about 75 miles on the car, visiting 2 shopping malls in two different counties, plus a Target store (pronounced Tar-zhay for the uninitiated). First I went to my Temple of Retail Therapy: the amazing Short Hills Mall. Something about this mall feels peaceful to me (once you get past the insanity of the traffic and parking outside it), even at the height of holiday shopping season in December. The most upscale mall in northern New Jersey, it has every designer thing you can imagine and an open floor plan that somehow just never feels crowded. They even have a branch of the famous Tiffanys! I went there specifically to buy the thing every woman dreads most - bras - at Nordstrom's.
Bra shopping (for you men out there who aren't aware of this) is, besides swimsuit shopping, one of the most singularly traumatic experiences a woman can have. It depletes both your energy and your self-esteem. (MEN: if your sweetie comes back from bra shopping in a bad mood or on the verge of tears, be sympathetic, please. You have no idea what she's just been through.) Despite industry "standards" for sizing, no two bras of the same "size" are built the same way or fit the same way. Even once you finally DO find the "perfect bra", you'd damn well better stock up on it because within 6 months the manufacturer is likely to discontinue it for no reason, even if it's a best-seller, and you'll never be able to find one like it again.
The reason I trek 50 miles out of my way to this mall, to this Nordstrom's, is the customer service they provide in the lingerie department. Nordstrom's is known for it's superior customer service - they actually TRAIN their employees on this, something no other big department store chain seems to do.
In a Nordstrom's the sales help in Lingerie even knows the correct way to measure you for the right size bra. They don't have the biggest selection and don't even carry brands other stores carry, but they do have some speciality brands and a good selection for those of us who can't wear those flimsy little A & B cups (why, oh, WHY, do so many of you women want bigger breasts? You have no idea how difficult they are to live with, and trust me - gravity will eventually win out and your expensive Pamela Anderson/Britney Spears look-a-likes will be heading south one day, just like everyone else's. And THEN you'll be sorry.) After an hour of trying on literally about 30 different bras in a range of sizes, I came out with two new styles I liked -- SUCCESS AT LAST! I left the Lingerie section feeling encouraged, although a bit poorer - the 2 bras cost $109.00 (Ouch! But at least they fit well and will keep "the girls" up where they belong!)
Down to the women's clothing department to look at jeans. I don't often talk about this but I wear what is commonly known as "plus-size" clothing. I'm not thrilled about this, but right now this is the size I'm at and I figure no matter what size I am, I want to look my best. However as all zoftig, well-curved women know, finding attractive, well-made and fashion-forward clothing in plus sizes is nearly impossible, because many stores and designers haven't caught on to the fact that bigger women are also professional women with big incomes and excellent tastes, and we want to wear, within reason (no belly shirts or micro-minis), some of the same styles that are out there for the skinny ladies. Nordstrom's has a pretty decent plus department, although a bit small, and they even have a nice name for it: "encore" (which means "more" in French - a much more respectful way of saying there is just more of us girls to go around. Everything sounds better when you say it in French, anyway). Today, I found a nice pair of white cropped jeans for summer which I decided to take, but no luck with the boot-cuts.
On I went... to Neiman Marcus (I don't think they even HAVE plus sizes, because I sure couldn't locate any), to Macy's where I usually buy my jeans (and learned that this upscale Macy's doesn't carry the same "peasant" stock as the stores nearer to my home - they must think I live in Hick City or something), and finally to Bloomingdales.
Now, you should know that for several years I have had a personal boycott going against this particular Bloomies, because they banished the plus-size department down to the BASEMENT of the store, in HOUSEWARES, next to the @#%*%# oriental rugs, for God's sake. It's like they don't want the fat chicks contaminating or upsetting the anorexic rich women upstairs, so they figured "let's just hide them all down in the dungeons of the store where we won't have to be reminded of them". I remembered it as being a poorly lit, dingy hole with a bad selection of clothing, and after my last failed attempt to shop there 3 years ago I vowed never to give that store another dime of my hard-earned cash. And I haven't set foot in the store ever since. [Did I mention that Nordstrom's wisely placed their "encore" department in a high traffic spot right at the store's mall entrance? They are smart retailers and they know we curvy ladies have money to burn. That's why THEY get me as a repeat customer.]
Today, out of curiousity and also frustration at not having found the perfect jeans elsewhere, I decided to check out if they still had the plus clothing in the same spot. <sigh> They did. The department seemed to have been expanded a bit with a better selection, but the lighting was still awful and the oriental carpets were still next door. This time, because I was doing "Retail Therapy" and part of any good therapy program is venting your honest emotions in a productive way, I spoke with the sales woman, calmly shared my perspective and told her I was insulted that the store management continued to stick the department down there, and that the store had lost me as a customer. I even pointed out that other Bloomies stores did NOT do that, nor did other retail stores. She was gracious and tried to point out the lovely selection of clothes, to which I responded, "I'm sure they ARE lovely... and I won't be spending my money on any of them, nor on anything else in this store. Obviously they do NOT want my business." And I asked her to pass along that feedback to her manager, thanked her for taking the time to talk with me, and left.
I felt GREAT! I scored a victory for curvy girls everywhere! The Retail Therapy was progressing beautifully, and I also had a great walk through the mall (it is huge), got a little exercise at the same time, and didn't buy anything I didn't need. So far, so good.
Leaving this mall, I drove another 20 or so miles to the Rockaway Mall, first hitting Target, which had NO bootcut jeans in my size but where I did score a sweet little pink handbag and a wallet for only $18.00! I took a moment to rehydrate myself and boost my now-waning blood sugar with a soft-drink. Then over to Macy's... this time to have success in finding a really nice fitting pair of boot-cut jeans in my size. And, on sale for only $29.99. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
By then, it was after 9pm, I had been on the road and on my feet hiking the malls for 5 hours, spent just $200 total (good girl, Lisa!) and it was time to pack it in. I can sleep peacefully tonight knowing my bra will fit properly, my jeans aren't torn in places they shouldn't be, and I now have a purse to match the pink shoes I bought a couple of weeks ago.
And I spent about the same amount as the cost of a therapy session with any licensed shrink -- and had a LOT more fun. What more could I ask?
