This weekend, after an absence of perhaps 8 or 9 months, I reacquainted myself with an old friend -- my piano keyboard! It's been in storage since I moved last November, and even prior to that I was busy doing other things and just wasn't playing at all. But over the weekend I decided it was time to bring the keyboard out of the closet and dust off my passion for the piano again.
I first learned to play the piano as a little girl, and from all accounts was pretty good at it, though I was no child prodigy and in fact to this day I'm not one of those super-talented folks who can just sit down at a piano and let loose. But through most of my childhood I didn't have regular access to a piano, so I "gave it up" (although as a kid who hated having to practice an hour a day, it didn't seem like much of a sacrifice).
In high school I got involved with music again, when I auditioned for the marching band -- not as a musician, but as one of the girls in the short skirts with the tall flags (I had great legs back then!) Being around all that musical talent revived my passion, so I dug out my old piano books and retaught myself using the school's piano. I even got good enough by my senior year to be chosen to play the piano in the school's competitive jazz band; and taught myself the xylophone as well, playing that in the marching and concert bands. And as if that wasn't enough, I was in the chorus and in the school musical that year -- I guess you could say I was a performance art junkie!
I had the time of my life.
After high school, I stuck with performance art in different ways for a couple of years, but time and other directions eventually took priority. And although in the back of my mind, I would sometimes think "if only I had the space and money to buy a piano", inevitably it always felt like a far off dream with too many obstacles. I was also a bit of a "piano snob" and would tell myself I wanted a REAL piano, not one of those electric keyboard things. It was all or nothing with me (a trait I have often struggled with in other areas as well.) I got very good at making excuses about it and continued to put it off until "someday".
Fast forward to 2001.
I turned 40 in May of that year, and one day not long afterward, a conversation with a friend gave me the chance to stop making excuses about playing the piano again. I found out that the new Yamaha keyboard she was using professionally (she and her husband were in a working band) was actually very light and portable, very inexpensive, and had a very realistic grand piano sound.
WOW! For years I had these old preconceived beliefs about what was possible for me musically... and in about 5 minutes all of my erroneous beliefs changed as I realized I didn't have to put off my passion for the piano any more. I had been living under false assumptions literally for DECADES. I had been very attached to the story I was telling myself: that the only way I could be involved in music again was if I had the space and budget for a high-priced traditional piano. By allowing myself to see things from a new perspective, suddenly I had OPTIONS where before I had OBSTACLES.
Within a couple of weeks I had done some research and found a store that sold the keyboard I wanted. I brought it home, set it up and started having a lot of fun playing around with it (and yes, I STILL had all my old piano books and sheet music from high school and college - including "Stairway to Heaven").
That date was September 10th, 2001.
The next day, not having any clients in the morning, I got up and before I even had coffee or breakfast or turned on the TV, started playing the piano again. I played for several hours. As it got near to 10:30 am, hunger forced me to take a break, so I made some breakfast, sat down and flipped on the TV to catch the news. It was 10:31am and the second of the two World Trade Center towers had just collapsed.
It's kind of ironic that I finally stopped putting off doing something I really loved, just BEFORE one of the most earth-shattering events of our time. And not long after, I found myself a piano teacher and began to fulfill another dream -- learning to play classical piano pieces, something I had never done and always wanted to do.
And that's been my focus ever since, although I am not taking lessons right now. I just pick a piece of music and work on it. I'm not particularly good at it. I make a lot of mistakes. I get nervous playing in front of someone else so I never plan to play in public again. And sometimes, like during the past year, I may even take a long hiatus. But now music is a part of my life again and it fulfills some little part of my soul that wants to be creative and expressive.
What creative passion of your own have you been ignoring for too long? What part of your bold soul would you be dusting off if you reacquainted yourself with your art? If there's something you have loved doing in the past and you stopped, or if there's something you've always wanted to try for the first time but were afraid to do it, what's stopping you? Just as I had erroneous beliefs about what "playing piano" had to look like, do you have false assumptions about your art form or creative pursuits that are stopping you? What would happen if you decided to look for your options rather than at your obstacles?
Whether it's writing, singing, acting, dancing, painting, drawing, crafting, or woodworking, if you've got a secret creative passion that you've been putting off, maybe now is the time to let it out. You don't have to be good at it, you just have to love doing it -- and love the person you're being WHILE you're doing it.
Excuse me, I have to go now... Chopin and Beethoven are calling me.