My sister doesn't usually read my blog (at least, I don't THINK she does), and therefore she won't see this post.
But I'm going to go ahead and put a big old "Happy Birthday, Sue!" out there anyway.
Why? Why bother, if she won't even see it?
Because my little sister has turned 50 today! FIFTY! This adorable curly-top red-head has clocked 50 years.
And another one bites the dust.
This means that my mother's two children are now both in their 50s (and my mom will turn 80 in December). In June, my brother-in-law's youngest sibling, also a sister, will turn 50 as well, and then ALL of us in our family - of our generation in the family tree and on both sides of the Atlantic - will be over 50. After this year, Georges will have the next major milesone in 2014. Oh, la.
We are now all officially over that proverbial and really annoying hill.
That hill where, once you're on the other side of it, everything starts to hurt, to change, to dry up, to fall out, to get spotty, to get tired faster. That part of aging sure isn't fun. I am not enjoying looking in the mirror and already thinking, "Who ARE you and what have you done with my young, supple, wrinkle-free face, you freaking imposter?"
On the other hand, this side of the hill brings the benefit of a lifetime of learned experiences and wisdom, which is really worth something in my book. I don't let things bother me the way I used to. I find it easier to prioritize where I invest my emotional energy and have rid myself of (or have made my peace with) so many toxic relationships. I can quickly put most difficult and upsetting events in a better perspective. And I love this about myself now.
I guess there is a trade-off in life. Youth gets to have the looks and the physical energy, while Maturity gets all the inner knowing and spiritual balance.
But doesn't it just seem a bit unfair that, at an age when we finally get ourselves and our lives all figured out, we start to run out of steam to really take advantage of that? Who among us has not said or thought, at least once, "If I knew then what I know now..." Who has not wished for a moment of "Peggy Sue Got Married", a chance to go back in time and enjoy being young but without all the melodrama and stupid mistakes?
Oh well, it is what it is. And being able to SAY that and MEAN it is a testament to how far I have come.
Happy 50th Birthday, Sue... welcome to life on the other side. I love you, and I wish I was with you to celebrate with a giant pitcher of margaritas.