So, on the eve of my 400,000th visitor (waving happily at you, whoever you are!), I took a long-overdue peek at my visitor stats to see what's what, and to get my usual chuckle at some of the keywords people are typing in that somehow lead them HERE.
And as always, the biggest draw is variations on a theme: "Is he into me?" It continues to bring in a fair percentage of new visitors after directing them to this page (although I have now written several posts on the subject, since it keeps coming up).
When I say "variations", I am not kidding. Check out the current list, where apparently slight differences in punctuation, spelling or phrasing "count" in search engine lingo:
- Is he into me
- Is he into me?
- Is he into me or not
- signs he's not into me
- signs he is not into me
- how do I know if he's into me
- how into me is he
- he's not into me [I'm sensing a pattern here, aren't you?]
- why is he not into me
- how do I know if he's not that into me
- how do I know if hes into me
- how do I know he is into me
- hes not into me
- why isn't he into me?
- why did he break up with me out of nowhere saying he's not into me
- signs he's not that into me
- signs hes not into me
- signs he's just not into me
- signs he's into me
- signs he adores you [and thank you for using another word besides "into"]
- mixed signals in dating
- major signs that he is not into me [oh, like minor signs aren't enough for you?]
- is he that into me
- is he really into me
- is he not calling because I intimidate him?
- is he not "into" me?
- is he just not that into me
- is he into me over the phone [huh? Over the PHONE? What about in real life?]
- is he into me or not I can't decide
- is he dating someone else
- I thought he was into me now he barely speaks to me
- how to read a guys mixed signals
- how to know if he is really into his girlfriend [uh, and you're asking because you're sleeping with him on the side and you want to know whether he's going to dump HER and come running to YOU? Puh-leez]
- how do I know if he's into me like I am him
- he's not contacting me
- he's not calling me
- dating mixed signals
- clues he's not into you
- if I'm on line looking for "is he into me" then he's not [I think you just answered your own query]
So, I'll say it again, ladies:
If you have to ask, then NO, he is not into you. If he IS into you, you will not have a single doubt about it. He'll let you know through his actions (not only his words). He WILL call. He WILL want to spend time with you -- lots of it. He won't be sleeping with anyone else, because he'll be totally hot for YOU. There ARE no mixed signals.
The guys who SEEMED to be into you, and then disappeared? Maybe they were into you... for that moment in time, however long it was. But they weren't into you ENOUGH to go the distance. That's all.
And that isn't your fault. If he isn't into you, nothing you do or say will really make a difference. You can't MAKE him be into you.
So if you're with someone or chasing after someone who's not really all that into you (and come on, if we're being totally honest here, you know deep down what the truth is about that, don't you?) then instead of asking "Is he into me?", maybe what you SHOULD be asking is: "Why am *I* into a guy who is not into me?"
You're so much better than that. So cut your losses and move on. There are worse things than being single... like giving up your self-respect by wasting time on a man who isn't worth it. Go! Live your life. Be fabulous. Have fun. Do things you enjoy. Stop waiting for Mr. Perfect, and just get out there and live it up!
And one of these days, when you least expect it, the guy who IS totally into you will cross your path, and you won't have to wonder about it any more.