In a parallel universe

Long-time readers of The Bold Soul know that every so often, I read about some utterly ridiculous story in the media and it's so off-the-wall that I simply MUST pass it on and write about it here. Well, the other day I came across what may just be the most hysterically funny evidence of insanity I've ever heard, and it didn't come from the media but from a business contact of mine.

I subscribe to a writer's discussion list and one of the other members recently put a question out to the group: should we freelance writers see clients in our own homes, and if so what are the risks and how to avoid them? It seems that Steve, who among other types of career-related services writes resumes, had a new client come over to the house... and the client made him and his wife rather nervous. The general concensus of the writer's group was that it's so much easier to just meet with clients outside your home office that it's not worth the risk to invite them to meet with you in your home. [Read more over here on my writer's blog about this topic.]

Then Steve shared what it was about this particular client that set his poor wife's nerves on edge:

The guy who came over to my house for a resume had drafted what he wanted me to say. He started a program for AIDS in Egypt, helped teens kick alcohol, and a few other very impressive things. But when I questioned him, it turns out he didn't actually do those things.

Then, he said, "Well, I did them in a parallel universe. I WOULD have done those things if I had the time."

I'm going to use that parallel universe bit next time a cop pulls me over.

Is that not the BEST excuse you've ever heard for lying on your resume? And think about it, Steve's onto something, because you could TOTALLY work that excuse for just about anything you want in life.

Missed a deadline? Oh, well in your parallel universe, you exceeded that deadline and brought the project in 50% UNDER budget, too... so it's all right.

Wish you'd become an astronaut and sorry you never made the effort to study harder in science class so you could get into NASA? Well, your parallel universe self has already done that, so you can hold your head up high and go back to your boring desk job.

The possibilities are endless. Especially when you are certifiably insane. But wow, the guy gets points for imagination, I'll say that.

Story reprinted with permission. Contact Steve Fredericks.