I've been debating long and hard about whether and what to write about this, but decided that I want to be able to write as openly as possible about my life experiences here in France and as a newly married woman over 40. So since some readers have finally caught on (I've only been dropping hints for weeks just to see if anyone would notice), I'll lay it out on the table:
Yes, Georges and I have decided to try for a baby. It is a conscious decision, not one taken lightly, and something that has surprised us both (since we neither of us thought of having a baby in the beginning) but something we are very much looking forward to. That's just how much we love each other.
No, we're (I'm) not pregnant -- yet. We were hoping it might happen this month -- would have been cool to drop that bomb on my family when I'm in New Jersey in two weeks' time -- but it hasn't. C'est la vie. Better luck next time.
Yes, we know we are both "of a certain age". And that as a result there are certain risks. And that it might not happen at all. And that if we are blessed with a baby, we will be sleep-deprived and exhausted for the rest of our lives. And we're OK with that.
No, we are not doing anything fancy to try and get pregnant, nor do we intend to. Either its going to happen the old-fashioned way (i.e., lots and lots [and lots] of great sex), or not at all; that's what we both feel is the right thing for us.
Yes, I am prepared to blog about what's going on (and Georges agrees), because I suspect that there are a lot of women out there who are in their mid-late 40s and going through similar things. I can't tell other women what to do, but I can write about my own experience and maybe by sharing it, it will help someone else in some way. So get ready for a new chapter in The Bold Soul's history: The Fertility Files.
Judging by at least one nasty commentor's recent (and completely insensitive remarks), I realize that some readers might have personal judgments about our decision to try and have a child at our age. You might feel we're "too old" for this. You might know someone (or be someone) who tried the same thing and had bad results. I can appreciate this is a hot-button issue for a lot of people; geez, look at all the negativity surrounding the "octomom" (which of course is a really extreme case and definitely involves some questionable ethics).
If you do have such negative judgments or horror stories to tell, all I ask is that you try to remain sensitive to the fact that while I'm choosing to write about this part of my life journey, this IS a personal choice and a very thoughtfully made one, for me and for my husband, with my doctor's full knowledge and participation. So try and be respectful of that, whatever happens.
I hope you will wish us well in our efforts to bring a new little one into the world. If we are fortunate enough to have a baby, it will be a baby surrounded by more love than he or she could probably ever conceive, and that's as good a start in life as any two parents can offer. And I promise to be as open as I can about how it's going for us -- either way.