One of the ways I have been attempting to boost my spirits while contemplating the long days of separation that are facing Georges and me this month, is to remind myself that when you are apart from someone you love, you generally come to appreciate them even more. So I have been looking forward to discovering new things to appreciate about Georges.
Turns out I did not have long to wait.
It is nearly 7pm in Paris, and I have not had any email or IM from Georges all day, which I understand because he is, after all, in another time zone 6 hours behind Paris and in all-day meetings. We knew that daily contact would be sporadic and minimal, in spite of his new iPod Touch. Fortunately, we plan to speak by phone every morning before he leaves his hotel room.
It was during this first virtual tête-à-tête this morning that I discovered Georges' "I am too far away from Lisa" voice.
I have always liked his voice very much... the French accent alone is enough to melt me into an Amélie-like puddle on the floor. And of course, when two lovers speak to one another, their voices always change, developing a certain tone of intimacy that comes from being part of a couple. I know that my own voice often changes radically when I'm speaking to him, in a way I know I do not sound when speaking to other people.
But oh... there is something about the way he sounded this morning, that made my heart skip a few beats and made me think: "WOW... listen to THAT!" It's not so much what he was saying, but it was something about the way he was saying it... the same wonderful words of love and caring he always uses in speaking to me every day were somehow amplified or enhanced in a new way this morning. It is as if his voice was reaching across the miles to wrap itself around me the way his arms would be wrapped around me if only he could manage it. And even when we talked about mundane things, like was he going to go check out the famous underground shopping malls beneath Montreal, or how bad the snow was there, his voice still had this certain new je ne sais quoi-lity to it that I just couldn't get over. And really, why would I WANT to get over it? It's positively delicious, being held so close, within the sound of Georges' voice in this way.
I think it must be the being apart, and the knowing we will continue to be apart for some days yet, that is causing him to infuse, albeit unconsciously, some new and even deeper level of love, connection and passion into his voice, and causing me to be even more sensitive to receiving it. I tried to explain to him how his voice was coming through to me, how I was noticing something different today, and all I could come up with was "You have such a sexy voice, do you know that?" Sometimes, even a writer can't come up with the right words, because "sexy" doesn't even come close to capturing the essence of this experience for me.
I don't know how he does it, but even 3,000 miles away and at 5:30 in the morning, he manages to make me feel completely special, cherished and oh, so beloved.