I'm in the mood. No, not THAT mood... get your mind out of the gutter. Nope, I've got myself a good ol' case of the Monday Blahs: that slightly drab, depressive feeling you get when you wake up on a Monday and can't seem to find a good reason to get out of bed other than to forage for breakfast and stare at your pores in the mirror. Where nothing seems to entice you or appeal to you. Where you don't feel like doing anything constructive or talking to anyone - even people you normally love to talk to. Where you just can't be bothered to bother.
The rainy weather, I'm sure isn't helping my mood today one little bit. We do need the rain here -- especially since my mother worked very hard over the weekend planting flowers and starting her vegetable garden so we can have nice fresh tomatoes and zucchini and cucumbers all summer long. So, I don't begrudge the rain itself... just the gray, dreary skies that necessarily go along with it.
It's the kind of a day when, although I do have some things I need to do, I would much rather stay curled up in bed with a good book (I'm re-reading The DaVinci Code since the movie is out in just a few more days - get the illustrated version if you're going to read it, it really helps paint a visual picture of the locations and artificacts mentioned in the book, and you won't have to stop reading to go online and track down a copy of The Last Supper).
And before you all start writing in to suggest I go to mental health counseling, let me just say that I was actually in a great mood all weekend and had a lovely dinner with my family last night, so I'm not "in crisis" or in need of Prozac. It just feels like "one of those days", you know?
Perhaps this is a touch of pre-45th birthday blues, that "why-haven't-I-accomplished-more-with-my-life-up-to-now" thing? Or is it angst over the current (and I hope, temporary) slow-down in my business? Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly in "Breakfast at Tiffanys" coined a different phrase for it: the mean reds -- when you're anxious and you're not really sure what it's about. It almost doesn't matter WHY, though, because while I don't exactly love having the Monday Blahs, I sort of accept that although I'm a very positive and upbeat person about 95% of the time, I can't be chipper and perky and "up" every single day. I'm not a Stepford bride.
Every once in a while you have to give yourself permission to just have an "off" day... a day where you let the moody you show through instead of trying to cover it up with faux joie de vivre. I guess today, it's simply my turn. I'll hand it off to someone else tomorrow.
